How to overcome concerns about dating in later life

Attracting someone into your life as a long term partner can be daunting at any stage in life. Dating in later life can bring its own unique challenges, and there are a few key concerns I’ve come across while speaking with clients about the subject of dating after retirement.

I’ll walk you through each one, and I hope you can overcome any reservations you may have.  This is assuming you’d like to find your ideal partner.  I only say this as there are many people who are happy being single.

Hi I'm frank, life, business and relationship coach

So who am I?

I’m Frank, and I have been a life, business and relationship coach for over 20 years.

I’ve coached 1000’s of people both directly, remotely and through my publications and online courses, and hope I can help you achieve your goals…

…especially when it comes to building the relationships you want.

Where most of us started with dating?

When we were younger and going out on dates, we may not have been looking for ‘the one’.  Our younger selves may have been happy having short or medium term relationships.

But now that we’re a bit older, short term dating can be tedious and is often not what we want.  However I understand that many have concerns, so below I’d like to point out, and hopefully help you overcome them.

1. Concerned about making conversation – Talking and Laughing

It’s obvious that talking and laughing in any relationship is important.

When you date in later life having someone you can talk to and with whom you can relate seems even more important.

However, I know it can feel daunting to strike up a conversation with someone.  Not to mention wonder whether you can be as ‘entertaining’ as you feel you should be to  a new partner.

I’m here to tell you that the person on the other side of the relationship is just as nervous. 

It’s all very well for me to say “get over it and talk” but if you push through the awkward talk at the start (about the weather etc), you’ll find that conversation starts to flow a lot easier than you might expect.

Then follows the laughter

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2. Think you’re too old to date?

If you think you are too old to date, you’re not alone.  There are 1000’s of people just like you.

Again, try not to fall into this trap, and if you find yourself saying this excuse, try to banish it from your mind.

You may have a few years on the clock but you are never too old to date.

Dating in later life

3. Are you able to stay active?

You may not be as keen to go to a late night club as you once were, but there are lots of other activities you will be more interested in doing.

When i say “stay active”, I don’t mean you need to take on physical activities.  Climbing mountains or running a marathon, are beyond most folk at any stage of live.

Instead, I mean that you should try to stay socially connected, by going to places and attend events that interest you.

Who knows, while you’re there you will be much more likely to attract the right partner with the same interests as you into your life.

older couple dancing and laughing

4. Intimacy and Guilt issues?

Intimacy can be something that is a worry when you date in later life.  However, it shouldn’t be.

As long as you both want to be intimate you should be as loving as you both are able to be.

A guilty feeling can sometimes come up, especially if you have been widowed. Although, remember that dwelling on the past is not good for your overall wellbeing.

Being intimate with someone you are dating, will not change the feelings you had for a previous partner.

You should not feel guilty about moving on, while respecting all involved.

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5. What will friends think?

You shouldn’t be concerned about what other people think. You have your own life to live, and if they don’t approve of you, then maybe they (and you) are better off not being as close friends.

Dating is nothing to be ashamed about, and it certainly should not cause you embarrassment.

6. Are you uneasy about online dating?

This one is understandable.. Quite a lot of my older clients shy away from online dating. However more and more are embracing online dating as a way to meet people.

If you are someone who thinks that the old way is the only way, then it may be time for you to think again.

Dip your toe in, and trying dating online and if it isn’t for you then at least you might get a few fun dates out of it. Then you’ll know.

Remember, technology is not just for the young ones.

technology for older people

So remember…

Remember that no matter how long it has been since you last dated, dating can still be fun.

In fact if you can overcome these concerns, many people feel that dating in later life is a lot easier than when they were younger.

There can be less pressure, and the whole process is less hurried. On top of that, many people who have a few years behind them may be more financially stable and have the time for more activities.

If you are not in a relationship and you are happy with that, then stay exactly as you are.

But if you want to get back into the dating scene do not let your age stop you from getting out there.

If you would like my help, you can get my free resources by signing up to our newsletter, or we also have an online video series to help you attract your ideal partner

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