Getting Past The First Date

Why do some people have lots of first dates but very few second or third dates?  There are plenty of reasons for not getting past the first date. You might not be attracted to each other. Your date didn’t look anything like the image they sent you of themselves.

These are a few basic ones. However often there is no second date even if everything seems to go right on the first one.

Talking Too Much

Sometimes when we get nervous we talk too much. Going on a first date can be a bit nerve-racking for some people.

Talking on a date is obviously good. But be careful not to talk too much. Communication is important when you are on a date especially if you are at the start of a relationship. Listen as much as you talk when you are on a date.

Make sure when you speak you talk about your date and not all about yourself.

Over Indulgence With Drinking and Eating

You want to remember the date so too much alcohol on one of your early dates is not a good idea. Being tipsy can help you loosen up and be a bit of fun. However no one likes to be in the company of someone who has had too much drink.  Drinking too much alcohol can lead to you saying things you didn’t mean or doing things you didn’t want to do.

When it comes to eating make sure you pay more attention to your date than to your food. Take your time. Put your knife and fork down between mouthfuls. If you wolf down your food you probably wont be able to chat. And if you have finished your food well before your date then he or she will feel self conscious still eating.

drunk on a date

Talking About Past Relationships

You really want to avoid talking about past relationships on a first date. Once you get to know your date then they conversation might be appropriate. On a first date, even if you are asked about past relationships try to steer the subject on to something more positive.  Say something like “that was in the past and I am more interested in the future”

By the same reasoning don’t ask questions about your date’s past relationships. If things turn more serious between you then these conversations will come out in good time.

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Stay Off Your Phone

There are very few things more off-putting when you are with someone than being on your phone.

When you with other people and especially when you are on a date, stay off your phone. You want to treat your date with respect and pay attention to them during your time together. Even if they nip to the rest room, do not be tempted to whip out your phone. Your date may come back and see you. They might think you are texting a friend on how the date is going or checking the football scores. Or they may think you are setting up an emergency call.

Being on your phone makes your date think you would rather be somewhere else. So don’t do it even if you would be.

You rate wants to know that they have your full attention. It is best to have your phone off during a date or at least have it on silent.

Dating couple

Don’t Criticise Your Date Even in Fun

Don;’t you have a lot of freckles. Do you always wear such loudly coloured shirts. Where did you get that tie, from your dad?

You might think what you say is fun but people can often take it in the wrong way. Once you get to know someone is the time to make a few fun remarks about them. You need to get to know their sense of humour before commenting on their appearance or habits.

If you are going to make a comment about your date, make it a compliment.

Don’t Ogle Other People

Looking other people up and down when you are on a date is a big no-no. You should only have eyes for your date.

Following with your eyes that passing attractive woman or handsome man as they pass can be a turn off for your date. So keep your eyes on your date.

looking at other people on a date

Pay Attention To Your Date

Paying attention to your date shows you are interested in them. If you want to have a second date then you need to show that you care about the person by paying attention to what they say and do. When you notice the small things your date will be attracted to you much more than if you forget things he or she has told you.

If you hope for future dates with this person try to remember what they like and dislike. Take note of the types of films they enjoy for when you ask them to go to the cinema. Listen to their interests and hobbies. If you are going to buy a gift in the futre for this person then knowing what they like will show that you care.

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